Happiness Is The Proof Your Position and Goal Are Aligned: The Three Elements of the Life Planning Framework

This is what I was talking about with friends this afternoon.

We have plenty of plans, plenty of things to learn, plenty of goals.

But how do we know we've actually hit the mark?

How do we confirm the result is "enough"?

Maybe this is something everyone goes through at some point.

So I recommended a framework I'd designed last year for in-house training at my company.

I call it the Life Planning Framework.

There are only three elements in this framework:

1. Position
2. Goal
3. Skill

This framework can tighten your grip on your own life.

When you feel lost, use it as a set of questions to take back the steering wheel.

In short: the Life Planning Framework is a self-questioning tool that uses three elements — Position, Goal, Skill — to check "is the direction right, is the destination one I actually want, can what I'm learning get me there?" Position is the direction, Goal is the destination, Skill is the line in between.

What is "Position" in life planning?

Position is: you know what you love, and you can keep doing it forever.

Like an archer who can only aim in one direction at a time.

Position is that direction.

From the doing side: there are things we can't stop ourselves from doing.

From the mission side: there are things we want to achieve, and most of them tie back to our background and past.

If we can't find something we love, want to do, or feel a sense of mission about — try more new things.

Position is also: knowing what we don't like.

Through elimination, we cross off the things we don't want to do, and what's left is the direction.

I have a friend who hates clocking in and out, so he works freelance.

Another friend doesn't like working in an office, so he joined a company that allows remote work.

Position is self-knowledge.

Get clear on yourself: what you love, what you hate, what you can keep doing, what you don't want to touch.

When looking for your position, start with these four questions:

• What do you love, where doing it doesn't drain you?
• What do you hate, where doing it is painful?
• What can you keep doing without forcing yourself?
• What do you absolutely refuse to touch, where the sight of it turns you off?

Write down the four answers, and the direction becomes clear.

Once you have a position, you can move on to goals.

How do you set goals that actually belong to you, on top of your position?

A goal is one point along the direction set by your position.

You can have many goals, but they all need to lie along that direction.

If position is knowing yourself, the goal is self-actualization.

If position is the direction you set sail in, the goal is the lighthouse at the destination.

If we don't know ourselves, the goals we hit won't be the ones we actually want.

Get the position wrong, and the goal will naturally be wrong too.

A lot of people hit their goal and still feel unhappy.

That means either the position or the goal is off.

Happiness is the proof that position and goal are aligned.

How do you know you're on the right path?

You feel happy.

How do you use "happiness" as the test? I ask myself three questions:

• The moment I hit the goal, am I actually happy, or just relieved that "it's finally over"?
• The hard parts, the exhausting parts of the process — would I do them again?
• Three months later, looking back, do I want to tell people about this?

Three Yeses, and your position and goal are aligned. One hesitation, and it's worth going back to check whether the position is wrong or the goal is wrong.

Why does Skill come after Position and Goal?

Skill is your expertise, your knowledge, your methods, your experience.

To reach the goal, we need to learn a lot of skills.

If position is the start point and goal is the end point, skill is the line (Edge) connecting the two.

Along that line are many skills, forming a Skill Tree.

We often use "skill tree" to describe what a profession should know — same idea.

For creators, writing, video editing, running online courses, marketing, community building — these are all common skills.

These skills combine and stack to deliver maximum effect, helping us reach the goal.

But two things to watch out for:

1. Don't learn out of anxiety
2. Find your position and goal first, then learn skills

I've met a lot of people who are scared of being left behind or outpaced.

They keep learning, but no matter how much they learn, the anxiety and unhappiness stick.

I've also met people who learn obsessively but never produce — like the day they're "ready" never arrives.

That's why I put position first, goal second, and skill last.

How do you give your effort a direction?

From a young age we're told to study hard, learn this, learn that.

So as adults, when we hit a problem, the first instinct is to learn.

The thinking is simple: if we just get strong enough, the problem solves itself.

The reason the problem isn't solved is because we're not strong enough yet (?).

But position doesn't work that way. Doing things you hate, no matter how strong you get, won't make you happy.

No matter how many skills you stack, if you haven't figured out the direction of your effort, it's all wasted.

Effort needs direction.

Direction comes from your own position and goal.

In the right direction, we work hard to learn skills and reach the goal.

FAQ

Q: I have no idea what my position is. Where do I start? A: Start with elimination. List the things you absolutely don't want to do — that's easier than listing what you love, because pain is sharper than vague preferences. Whatever's left, test it against "could I keep doing this for three months without wanting to quit?"

Q: Can I reverse the order — Position, Goal, Skill? A: No. Learning skills before finding direction usually ends with a pile of skills and the same lostness. Setting a goal first and reverse-engineering the position usually reveals the goal isn't actually yours. The order is Position → Goal → Skill.

Q: I hit the goal but I'm not happy. What went wrong? A: Either the position is wrong, or the goal is wrong — pick one. Ask yourself: is this goal what I want, or what someone else thinks I should want? If it's the latter, the position needs a reset.

Q: Why doesn't anxious learning work? A: Anxious learning is "learning so I don't get left behind," not "learning to reach the goal." Without a goal as the anchor, no amount of learning fills the anxiety, because the source isn't a skill gap — it's emptiness and a lack of inner safety.