Not Every Problem Needs Solving: Filter Out Fake Problems

Not every problem needs solving. A problem actually worth your brainpower has to meet three conditions at once: it has an answer, you can act on it, and ignoring it causes real damage. Anything outside that is just draining your limited judgment.

Solving problems takes brainpower. And in most situations, our brainpower is already running on empty.

So when an actually important problem lands in front of us, our heads have nothing left, and we make bad calls.

If we already have habits under control, the next move is to clear out the problems that aren't really problems.

Daily life is full of stuff that quietly eats our brainpower — and most of it doesn't actually need to be dealt with.

When I say "deal with," I mean "spend brainpower thinking about it."

The fact is, not every problem needs solving.

So let's go further and remove them from your head.

What counts as a "real problem"?

I define problems by elimination. If something falls into any of the categories below, it's not worth your brainpower:

• A problem with no answer isn't a problem — like "Why doesn't he love me anymore?"
• A problem you can't act on isn't a problem — like other people's families, other people's life choices.
• A problem that doesn't need handling isn't a problem — things that have no consequences if left alone.

Whatever doesn't fall into those three is a problem you can actually solve. Flip it around: a real problem must be actionable, controllable, and have an answer.

1. Problems with no answer

The classic example: Why doesn't he love me anymore?

When we go through a breakup, we ask a lot of questions we already know the answer to.

Another one: Am I just not talented?

When we've worked at something for a long time without results, this question shows up almost automatically.

You've seen plenty of these — life is full of them.

These questions usually surface when you're caught in strong self-doubt.

From an outsider's view, the answers are obvious.

The person asking these questions doesn't need a solution. They need comfort.

But what if you're the one asking yourself?

A lot of people get stuck in problem blind spots because the asker and the answerer are the same person.

You can't see the picture from inside the frame. Repeating an unanswerable question in your own head will never produce a conclusion.

That cycle just makes you feel worse.

So when you're thinking about life, eliminate the questions with no answer. Don't manufacture your own suffering.

How do you tell whether a question has an answer? Ask yourself three things:

• If someone else asked me this, could I answer it?
• Does the answer change with time, mood, or perspective?
• Am I trying to solve this, or just trying to feel better?

If you can answer it but only want comfort, that's not a problem — it's an emotion.

2. Problems you can't act on

The problem has an answer. You just can't do anything about it.

At work and in life, we want to help people who are struggling.

But sometimes pointless help only makes things messier and more stressful.

I once helped "a friend of a friend" with his thesis.

His paper had been rejected by his advisor with a couple of curt sentences — basically: rewrite it.

Honestly, the paper was bad.

I'm in a tech field. For me — coming from outside the humanities and social sciences — to look at a humanities paper and still see it was bad, it was bad.

I downloaded it, printed it out, and marked up 3 pages. Red ink everywhere.

Later, I met up with this friend of a friend. Just those 3 pages took us 2 hours.

The gap between the advisor's standards and the student's ability — that was one problem.

The other was: the student just wanted to graduate fast. He wasn't interested in actually doing solid research.

We have to ease up. Don't take it too seriously. It's someone else's life.

Your colleague hates their boss. Your classmate hates their professor. Your friend hates their pay package.

These are other people's problems. We can play the listener, but don't rush to help.

Always check first whether you can actually handle it. Otherwise you're just inventing your own suffering.

The classic example: A friend asks to borrow money. Do you lend it?

Evaluating "can I act on this" is just two questions:

• Do I have the ability, time, and emotional bandwidth to do this well?
• Even if I do this, will the other person actually change?

If both are "no," let it stop where the listening ends. Listening is doing something. It's not failing your duty.

3. Problems that don't need handling

If you don't deal with the problem, what problem does that cause?

If it doesn't cause any, does it really need handling?

Causing a problem is a probability — and over a large enough sample, that probability often trends to zero.

A friend's kid always cries and refuses to eat at mealtimes.

He'd tried lots of approaches. The kid just wouldn't eat.

I suggested he read more from parenting experts.

Some of them suggest: don't force the kid to eat. When mealtime is over, put the food away. Let the kid get hungry.

At first, he worried the kid would be malnourished.

But over time, the kid started valuing mealtimes more — because not eating meant going hungry.

Eventually the kid built a regular eating habit.

Some problems disappear on their own when you ignore them.

The opposite is also true: the more you try to do something about it, the bigger and messier it grows in your head.

How do you tell whether something "needs handling"? I use two questions:

• If I completely forgot about this a month from now, what would actually happen?
• Is that outcome something I can't afford, or is it just uncomfortable?

"Can't afford" needs action. "Uncomfortable" can stay where it is.

Admit your limits

We live in a world full of "right answers."

Even more, we live in a world that celebrates the spirit of "there's no problem that can't be solved."

Flip that around: if you have a problem you can't solve, then you must be the problem.

In that kind of atmosphere, people get crushed when they can't solve something — and slip into self-doubt.

Admitting your limits and your imperfections is important. And hard.

Admitting your limits isn't telling you to give up.

It's letting yourself off the hook for what you genuinely can't do right now — not making excuses to slack off.

Arch Soong

Distinguish the value of a problem

If we can eliminate most of the unsolvable problems, we cut energy waste and concentrate on the ones that can actually be solved.

We have to spend real time turning problems over and testing them, to identify the valuable questions.

That process is worth your time investment.

Rolf Dobelli writes in The Art of Thinking Clearly:

Most of the mistakes people make are regular and repeating.

Rolf Dobelli

So if you eliminate one cyclical problem, you save cyclical brainpower.

Yes — if we practice "recognizing the value of a problem," we save ourselves brainpower over the long run.

And we get to spend that brainpower on the life questions actually worth thinking about.

FAQ

Q: What if I'm already stuck inside a "problem with no answer" and can't get out? A: First, admit you're not solving a problem right now — you're looking for comfort. Find someone you trust and say it out loud. Get the voice out of your head. Once the emotion is processed, the "problem" might already be solved.

Q: Should I think about questions like "I'm not good enough" or "I have no talent"? A: If thinking about it leads you to do something (practice, learn, ask for help), it's a problem that can be solved. If thinking about it just makes you hate yourself more, it's not a problem — it's rumination. Stop immediately and go do the next concrete thing.

Q: How do I tell "not my business" from "being cold"? A: The difference is whether you actually finished listening. Listening isn't intervening. Listen first, don't act, and wait until the other person actually asks "what should I do" — then talk.

Q: Won't elimination make people dodge problems they should face? A: No. What elimination cuts is "no answer, no power to act, no consequence." Everything left over is something you have to face. This is filtering, not avoidance.